A Happy Memory
by Ruvena Cousland Amell
Summary: Set during the quest "All that Remains", Marian Hawke finds out she is pregnant and runs to tell her mother, but she's not home. F!Hawke/Anders. Written for an angsty prompt.


The bandit's cry dissolved into a gurgle _as I slit his throat in a quick motion; the man immediately fell to his knees clasping the mortal wound in a useless attempt to stop the pain and the bleeding. Normally I would have turned my back and walked away-he was the last bandit after all, the rest of his colleagues were scattered over the ground in this remote part of Darktown- but I couldn't help but stare as the life drained from his eyes. _

_There was a reason I never watched people as they died: I didn't like it. I made sure the wound was fatal enough to kill them quickly and leave. This time it was no different, I didn't like the sight… but there was something different indeed: I felt sick._

_The moment his eyes shut I pitched and emptied my stomach's content on the floor. _

_ "Whatever has gotten into you?" asked Isabela as she walked calmly up and placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. There was curiosity in her voice. "We've seen worse than this and you've never lost your lunch before." _

I steadied myself and turned around to look at my companion. Isabela and I were on our way to fetch Anders at his clinic when a group of bandits thought they could get out alive of a fight with us. I realized I must have looked pretty sickened, for the pirate's face was a mix of curiosity and confusion.

And I did feel sick. I couldn't stand the sight of all that blood staining everything! It was on the ground, on the walls, on my armor... on my body. And the smell, when had the smell of blood became so strong and irritating?

"Something's not right," I said with a slight grimace. "Blood had never disgusted me before."

"Are you hungry?" asked Isabela with increasing interest.

"Hungry?" I arched an eyebrow, thinking she was joking. How could she ask me if I was hungry with all of that blood… Just like that, I puked again, missing my friend's shoes by chance. This time it was even more horrible, for I had no more food to throw up.

"How's your back? And your breasts? Any soreness?"

My breath became a little ragged after I was done, and when I could look at Isabela's face again, I blinked in confusion. My back wasn't any tenser than usual, but I had noticed a slight problem with my breasts: it was getting harder to fit my leather armor on that area. It was as if my bosom had enlarged, and yes, I had been feeling a little soreness but that only meant I was about to have my…

I opened my eyes wide as I tried to remember when was the last time I had my bleeding.

Isabela noticed this and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Cheer up, Hawke: I know an excellent herbalist who knows how to take care of it."

I didn't even register the words as I started running towards Anders' clinic; I didn't even turn around to see if she was following me; my mind was set on getting to Anders. People stared in surprise as I ran as if my life depended on it, but I wasn't running out of fear: I was excited.

Happiness crept over me and I smiled as a run. When I reached the clinic's door, I didn't hesitate to open it and burst inside. I was fortunate to find Anders working alone at his desk. He was taken aback by my sudden entrance and, before he could rise from his chair, I ran to him with a grin on my face.

"What are you so happy about, my love?" he asked with a playful smile on his lips. I reached for his hands, biting my lower lip as I suppressed the urge to tell him right away.

"You are not going to believe this," I said with heart-warming joy. Anders got up from the chair and stood in front of me; our hands were entwined in a loving manner.

"Try me," he suggested with an increasing curiosity and interest.

I took a deep breath and fought the urge to jump in excitement. "We are going to have a baby," I said with a huge smile on my face.

Anders narrowed his eyes in confusion; I gave him a moment to take it in, I had expected him to be a little perplexed. "That's unlikely, Marian," he finally said, staring deeply into my eyes as if trying to look for something that was not there.

"Unlikely, not impossible. You never said it was impossible," I corrected, refusing to take that smile off my face. "I've just realized it's been almost two months since my last course, Anders! I didn't think much of it when I missed it the first time, but now…" I bit my lower lip and let go of his hands. My arms went to his neck and I embraced him in a lovingly manner. I felt his body tense a little against me, but he hugged me back anyway. "I realize now I've been more tired than usual lately too… And my breasts have been sore lately, it's also been harder to fit them in my armor… and today I threw up twice!"

I realized how silly that last part sounded and chuckled, for it would seem I was excited by the prospect of throwing up again. I moved a little to lift my head and look at Anders in the eyes; he was still a little skeptical, and there was a hint of worry in his voice when he spoke next: "You never told me you wanted children."

"I didn't want to give you an excuse to say we shouldn't be together… and act upon it," I commented with a slight shrug. I let go of him and stepped back, arms hanging at my sides. "I figured you'd say something like, _Don't give up having a family of your own just to be with me_."

"That's exactly what I would have said," He conceded, surprised by my decision.

"And I would have said I didn't mind not having children if I could be with you. That much is true, but I cannot say I am not happy for this," I said with a hint of anxiety as I looked at him. "Why aren't you happy?"

"It's not that I am not happy… I'm mainly shocked. Very shocked." There was unease all over his features as he spoke. "We never planned on this, and we weren't as careful as we should have been. I guess I shouldn't be this surprised, but I never thought you'd be this happy and willing."

"My happiness unsettles you?" I asked with an arched eyebrow.

"No! Not quite," He hurried to say. "I'm just not sure you've thought this through."

"How so?"

"We are living hard times in Kirkwall, and this pregnancy… If it were for me you wouldn't fight at all while pregnant, but I guess I'll have to settle with you giving up your blades for at least four or five months until the child is born."

My muscles tensed when he said that, but I didn't flinch and instead straightened up with resolved eyes. "I can live with that."

Anders looked unconvinced. Was it so hard to believe I wanted his child so badly I was willing to do everything it took to have a healthy, full term pregnancy? I watched him take a deep breath and sigh in what I hoped was relief.

He smiled-he actually smiled at me- then and placed his strong hands upon my shoulders to bring me closer to him and kiss my forehead in a loving manner. "Then I am happy," he murmured with his mouth against my head.

With my cheek pressed against his chest, I smiled as a relief washed away my anxiety. Anders had only been worrying about how the pregnancy would affect me and how my way of living would affect our child growing inside of me. Maybe he had never embraced the idea of being a father and he just needed time to take it all in, but as long as he claimed to be happy with the news, I wouldn't mind his inner worries.

"My mother will be so thrilled," I said joyfully as I relished the idea of telling her. I detached myself from Anders' and reached for his hand to take him along with me. "Come on! I can't wait to tell her."

Mother had been hinting me she wanted grandchildren ever since I first bled; obviously she would say she wanted them once I was of age. When I was seventeen, she started hinting that I should think of choosing a husband, and by the time I was twenty, we were living in uncle Gamlen's house, with Bethany and me working for Meeras almost every day with little time to rest. During those years dealing with the Blight in Ferelden and our new jobs in Kirkwall, mother wouldn't pester us telling both of us to settle down - they were rough times. Once we were free from our debts and we found our grandparents' will, mother started planning on getting the Amell estate back. She would comment that once we could live in Hightown again, she would take up matching Bethany and me with good nobles.

I was already interested in Anders by the time we went to the Deep Roads, and my interest only increased further once we were out. Mother was heartbroken when Bethany was sent to the Circle, and Anders had been there for me when I needed comfort. When we managed to get the Amell estate back, Anders and I were already in a relationship; it took some time for my mother to acknowledge and accept it. She had hoped I would marry a noble and thus ensure our place among the nobility, but eventually she came around and started talking about grandchildren again.

When Anders and I arrived at the manor. We had walked at a very fast pace, for I was utterly excited to get home and tell mother, but Anders didn't want me to run.

"Mother?" I called loudly as soon as I stepped in.

Instead of hearing her hurried steps approaching, I heard uncle Gamlen about to lose his patience with Sandal in the living room. My happiness momentarily wavering to exasperation as my only uncle's voice unnerved me.

"No! No enchantments! Leandra. Leeh-an-drah!" Gamlen tried to make the young dwarf understand.

"What is it the matter, uncle?" I asked suppressing a sigh. Not only did I have to wait longer in my agony to tell mother the good news, but I also had to deal with whatever problem my uncle was having at the moment.

"Oh, there you are!" He said, somehow relieved to see me - something unusual of him. "Where is your mother, is she all right?"

"If she's not here I don't know where she is; but why wouldn't she be all right?" I asked with a hint of disappointment, thinking she had probably gone shopping and I wouldn't see her until late in the afternoon.

"She was supposed to come have lunch with me this noon. Your mother never misses our gatherings!"

Before I could calm him down, Bodhan entered the living room and greeted Anders and me with a nod of his head and then he spoke to Gamlen.

"I'm afraid Mistress Amell didn't leave any missive for you before she left, nor did she inform me where she was going. Perhaps she is with her suitor?"

"Suitor? Leandra never mentioned a suitor." My uncle stressed the word as if it were something repulsive. I thought it was good for her to have one, she deserved to find love again.

"Well, those white lilies arrived for her this morning, and it wasn't long after that when she left."

My whole body tensed as a wave of fear crept over me; I was remembering something I didn't want to even consider. "White lilies?" I gasped with my eyes open wide; I quickly turned my head to look at Anders - his face was serious and eyes knowing as the same memory surfaced in his mind.

"What is it?"

"There's…" I struggled to get the words out of my mouth, for the idea was too abhorrent to speak of. "There's a killer in Kirkwall that's been hunting older women for the past few years. He sends white lilies to his victims."

I felt Anders reaching for my hand, squeezing tightly to give me strength. I bit my lip and looked at my uncle with the same desperate look he had had only a few moments ago.

"No, you are wrong! Leandra is fine. She has to be." As he spoke, it was obvious he didn't believe his own words - but he wanted to.

I wanted to believe it too; and I tried… after all, what were the chances that my mother, of all the women in Kirkwall, had been targeted by that serial killer? I took a deep breath and tried to calm down before speaking again. "I'll inform Aveline immediately. Just in case. Mother is surely fine, but I'll have the city guard keep an eye… Just in case." There was a nervous but resolved expression on my face as I repeated that last statement, more for myself than for my uncle.

"Good idea. That girl will know what to do. I'll go home just in case Leandra is there."

Gamlen appeared to relax, thinking the city guard would find her, but I wasn't like him. Once my uncle left, my state of desperation increased and my breathing became uneasy. I turned my whole body to face Anders then, and he reassured me, "Don't panic. We will find her."

I couldn't be sure we would find her, but I focused on the not panicking part. He was right about that, there was no use in panicking. And normally I wasn't the one to panic, but we were talking about my mother being with a serial killer - and I wasn't there to protect her.

Everything happened so fast and yet so slow that day. We went to Aveline and she informed the guards about the situation. She came along with Anders and me, since we were in Hightown we fetched Fenris and the four of us started a search all over the wealthier part of Kirkwall in order to find her. We separated so each one of us would search a different area of Hightown. Once we finished searching our assigned areas we would meet again where we started, I was the last one to arrive and as I run to reach my companions I could tell by their tense faces they hadn't found my mother either.

"Lowtown," I blurted out the moment I was close enough to them. "If she isn't in Hightown, the only other place she would go to is Lowtown to visit my uncle."

They nodded and we ran to my uncle's house. Once I reached the place, I didn't even bother to knock, I just opened the door and stepped in with the horrible realization no one was there. I registered the few rooms of Gamlen's place with a lump on my throat; this was the last place I could have found my mother in, and if Gamlen wasn't here either… it probably meant mother hadn't showed up at all. My suspicion was confirmed when Fenris informed me there was a note I had missed on the table.

I read it with a pained expression, "My uncle is in Darktown looking for her."

I tossed the note away and made my way out of the house, thinking along the same lines as Gamlen had: if mother is with the killer, the place to look is Darktown. Night was approaching when we finished the search without a trace. It was only when we returned to Lowtown that I heard my uncle's raised voice. We found him trying to get information from an unwilling young urchin.

"What do I get for telling you?"

"I'm going to pay you with a broken nose if you don't tell me where you saw her!" Gamlen threatened as he clutched the boy by the shirt and raised a fist.

"And what do I care?" the boy said without flinching.

"Calm down, uncle," I sternly said, reaching to loosen Gamlen's grip. "There's no need for this." I averted my eyes to look at the boy. My heart ached more at the sight of him, so young and so beaten, his clothes ragged and dirty. Those bruises were too old and too large for my uncle to have inflicted them, that boy couldn't be older than ten and he knew pain too well already, no wonder Gamlen's threats didn't scare him.

"He said he saw Leandra around here-he recognized her from her weekly visits to my place-and he won't speak for less than a sovereign! Maker knows I don't have that much, Marian!"

Trying hard to control the swelling lump in my throat, I kept a straight face and looked at the young boy, who had his arms crossed over his chest and surveyed my armor. I tried to display a kind smile for him, but even though I felt for that child, the worry for my mother screamed louder than any instincts towards him. "Here's a sovereign for your information. You'll get another one if it's any good."

I deposited the coin on the child's eager hand and he smiled in triumph. He looked up at me and spoke, "I saw her helping a man on the ground long before the sunset. He appeared to be hurt but… he rose up quickly once she tried to help him. They left together in that direction." He pointed northwest and shrugged, wondering if he was going to get any more coin.

"What did the man look like?" I asked.

"Well… he looked like a man. He had a head, a nose…" There wasn't really much he could say, and I was about to thank him and give him another coin when he made a paused and shrugged again pointing at something on the ground nearby. "There's a trail of blood he left over there."

I swiftly deposited more coins in his hand and, without a second glance to my uncle, I ran in the direction of the trail. My companions followed without question.

We followed the trail and ended up at the Dark Foundry in the Warehouse district. I recognized the place: we had been there years ago when we first heard of the killer. Our steps slowed to silent precaution, unsure of what we'd find. How could I not have looked in there sooner, how could I have forgotten about the human remains we found here years ago looking for this same murderer? My stomach twitched in pain as I thought of those fingers… and I fought the shivers running down my spine as I considered what of my mother I might find. But I wasn't going to let my worry overwhelm me, I had to keep a straight head. I decided I wouldn't leave this building until I found her.

Aveline found a hatch hidden in one of the rooms. I was sure I hadn't seen it the last time I was there… but had I really looked? There were a several crates around it, they had obviously been removed in order to use it.

The killer was hiding there. He had to be there! I opened the hatch without a second thought and descended with little care for my own safety. My companions followed close behind, and we found ourselves in a creepy room with all sorts of broken furniture, some lying on the ground, other with scorch marks. There were dozens of vellums scattered around, strange decorations tossed aside and even… I lost my breath and became fully aware of how hard my heart was beating against my chest when I saw the portrait hanging on the wall.

"Mother… that's my…?" I stuttered, walking up closer to the painting to have a better look. "No, that's not her… but she looks so similar…"

Anders placed a hand on my shoulder, not entirely to comfort me, but mostly to make me turn around and look at him.

"There's a hallway over there," He calmly said, despite the obvious concern in his eyes.

"Let's go," I commanded and lead the way towards the hallway.

He was there, waiting for me; he looked sickeningly happy, marveled even. He wore mage robes and had cuts on his hands. He was a blood mage.

"I was wondering when you'd show up. Leandra was so sure you'd come for her," he commented in a dangerously sweet voice.

"Where is she?" I asked. My fists clenched, I squared my shoulders and ignored my tense muscles.

His eyes widened with insanity, his voice hard and angered as he spoke, "You will never understand my purpose. Your mother was chosen because she was special and now…" He paused to have a better look at me, and smiled in a sick manner. "…now she is part of something greater."

"Spare me the demented rambling. Where is she?" I threatened, hand resting upon my dagger, my teeth gritting.

"She is here; she was waiting for you," he turned to show me, and I saw a white figure slowly rise from a chair behind him. "I have done the impossible. I have touched the face of the Maker and lived. Do you know what the strongest force of the universe is? Love. I pieced her together from memory. I found her eyes, her skin, her delicate finger. And, at last, her face. Oh, that beautiful face…"

My mouth fell open and I gasped, my heart racing at the sight. The person who had rose from the chair turned around and looked right where I was- her eyes were lost elsewhere.

"Mother!" I cried in pain when I recognized her. It was wrong, so very wrong. Her head was the only part of her body that made any sense… for her body was shorter, tinier, and even curvier. Her eyes… those weren't her eyes, and her skin… there were long cuts across her wrists and her neck… My stomach twitched once again when I realized what the mage had said just a moment earlier: _'I pieced her together from memory.' _

Then it all fell together: the portrait, the human remains found all those years ago, and the women's disappearances… My knees weakened and I scarce kept my footing as my strength drained.

When the corpses and demons were summoned, somehow I summoned enough strength to kill every living and non-living being that approached me. Wound after wound, I kept advancing in wild rage until I was close enough to kill him. While my companions were busy killing the undead and the demons, I had my eyes-and my daggers-set on the monster who had slaughtered my mother.

That monster… that excuse of a human being… The first stabbing was into his left eye, making him shriek with pain and tremble with agony; when I was sure he was paralyzed from the pain, I stabbed him right in the middle of his left lung, remembering vaguely how long it took a person die from a punctured lung.

The screams faded as it was getting harder and harder for him to breathe; thus I decided he'd be better off with no air at all and I run my dagger slowly across his throat, making sure to cut all the way through his windpipe.

"Hawke." It was Aveline's voice; I had been so focused and stunned at what I was doing I barely acknowledged the silence that meant my companions had finished off the last enemy.

Without a second glance to the bleeding monster on the ground, I got up to look at my companions; they were looking a few feet away from me. I followed their gaze and saw what was left of my mother trying to walk up to me. A strange numbness crept in my legs as I ran to her, managing to catch her before she could collapse to the ground.

"Mother!" I cried as I held her close. I looked into those eyes that weren't her own and yet were there on her face looking back at me with… relief?

"There's nothing I can do, his magic was keeping her alive," Anders said.

I barely acknowledged his words. I already knew it, I had grown up surrounded by magic and I knew how far it could go. No healer would be able to fix something like this. The pain throbbed in my head and heart as I realized my mother was dying - if she had not already died long ago before I found her.

"I knew you would come," she said, and even though I was no longer sure that voice was her own, I could recognize the words were meant for me, and her eyes were looking straight at me with a comforting stare, in a way only my mother had ever looked at me.

"Well, you know me. I always save the day." Tears were starting to wet my eyes and for once I wasn't going to fight them.

"Shh… don't fret darling. That man would have kept me here and now I'm free. I get to see Carver again, and your father. But you'll be here all alone…" Her voice was clear and low.

"I… I should have…" I stopped myself. I wasn't going to say what I should have done, it was useless now. I had to tell her something nice, something beautiful that should have remained in my memory as a happy occasion. "I won't be alone, mother. I'll always have Anders and… we are going to have a baby." This news I had been so eager to tell almost made me burst into helpless crying right there on top of her. But I didn't, for this was going to be my mother's last memory and I would make sure it turned into a pleasant one-as pleasant as it could be under these circumstances at least. "I just found out today."

I saw a warm smile slowly come across her face-I realized how much she wanted to smile and how hard it was for her. Her eyes softened more and she tried to touch my cheek. I quickly reached for that hand and held it against my skin. My stomach churned at the foreign flesh; I knew it wasn't her hand. It wasn't her.

"My little girl has become so strong… I love you. You've always made me so proud."

Her eyelids closed, and the hand I was holding against my cheek lost the little strength it had left. I let it go and embraced the lifeless body. The rational part of my mind told me it was ridiculous to hold her like that - it wasn't even her body. And she was dead; I had never held a dead body before. The pain was so intense, so overwhelming, I had to hold onto something… There was a sob that came out as a muffled scream, then there was another sob and another… I buried my face in my mother's hair, not caring for the first time in years that others were watching me cry.

Anders helped me up, holding me tightly as I wept. He wordlessly supported me with one arm and caressed my head until my tears, sobs, and whimpers had subsided. He helped me walk and supported my weight against him as we traveled back to the estate. I scarce noticed that Aveline and Fenris stayed in the hideout to retrieve what remains they could find.

When we arrived home, Gamlen was waiting there. Still supported in Anders arms, I didn't look up when my uncle spoke to us..

"Did you find her?" He asked anxiously. I stopped Anders before he could speak, slowly tilting my head up to face him and mutter a silent plea. I was the one supposed to do this, no matter how much it hurt.

"I am sorry, uncle. She is gone," I said with strange calmness, averting my eyes from his own; I preferred to look at the wall instead. There was some sort of numbness as I spoke, feeling I could deal with the pain no longer. I had no more tears to shred.

"You were right then? About the flowers and everything… I… I can't believe she is gone."

"I was too late," I said, reluctantly looking him in the eye, my voice filled with remorse.

"You are to blame then!" Gamlen declared, anger creeping over the apparent pain in his words. Anders tensed against me, but I stopped him from whatever he was planning on doing with a silent plea, telling him with no words to let my uncle let off steam. Gamlen didn't seem to notice the tension, "If you'd been quicker or stronger you'd have… she could be…" His voice broke and he suppressed a sob. "Why her? Why Leandra?"

"Mother's gone," I replied, keeping a pained-face. "Knowing why or how won't ease the pain."

"No, it won't," he conceded with a hopeless look and a trembling voice. "It will always seem senseless, won't it?" Gamlen paused and averted his eyes. A moment later, he looked back at me and asked, "Where's the one who did this to her? Did you find the person who killed Leandra?"

"He's dead," I simply said. In my mind, to the moment I stabbed him in the eye replayed. I remembered his agonizing screams, the blood pouring from so many places... I wished the horrible memories could help, but the knowledge of the pain I had inflicted upon that monster didn't make me feel any better.

"It won't bring Leandra back, but I'll take comfort in knowing that." Gamlen stood in silence for a long moment, before turning around to leave. "I will deal with breaking the news to Bethany. You have enough on your mind. Take care, my dear."

Then, I was alone with Anders. He gently caressed my back and softly kissed my head, comforting me with his careful, loving manners. We went to our room and we sat on the bed; his hold of my body never loosened.

Long minutes passed in which I just leant against his side, my head resting on his shoulder, trying to take comfort in the feeling of his lips against my forehead.

Did I deserve comfort? My body tensed at the thought. I got up from the bed and turned to face him. He didn't seem surprised by my violent motion, nor by the further pained expression on my face or by my broken voice as I spoke: "I didn't try hard enough to save her!"

"This wasn't your fault, Marian," he calmly, his eyes serious as they followed me. "And she wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

"You don't know my mother," I said bitterly, biting down on my lip. My breath became ragged as the pain overwhelmed me once again.

"No, not as well as you did," He replied, getting up to reach for my hand. I averted my eyes, trying to suppress the tears I had thought I could shed no more. Anders led me to the bed again, gently guiding me to sit on his lap; once I was there, he settled his arms around me and pressed his head to my chest. "I am sorry for this; you know I am here for you, and I will be for as long as I can, for as long as you need."

My body was heavy against his; I felt so very tired… This day should have been joyful, but how could it be when it had started and ended with death?. I hugged my waist, hands shyly covering my stomach. Mother would have been so happy to meet this child… I knew she would smile when I told her, and she did… she was happy for me and for the new life inside of me.

I trembled at the thought. It was so very unfair, mother… mother should have been here at home when I arrived to tell her. She should have been sitting in the library just like I had pictured her, probably reading a novel. The moment I would have burst into the room, she would have looked up in surprise, perhaps arching an eyebrow at my un-ladylike attitude. Then, holding Anders' hand right beside me, I would have given her the happy news: that she was finally going to be a grandmother. She would have placed a hand over her chest-right where her heart was beating with new found force and joy-and she would have smiled with pure happiness, not with that last smile she showed me…. Mother would have risen from the armchair and embraced me tightly, kissing both my cheeks before hugging Anders and asking if he had proposed to me.

It would have been a happy memory for us, it would have been a memory mother would have told my child about once they were old enough to understand… that moment in her life when nothing else seemed to matter but the new life growing inside of me, that little person she had been so willing to meet ever since I was old enough to bear it. It would have been a memory she would have cherished for the rest of her life.

She would have spoiled the child. She had never spoiled my siblings and me, and I don't know if she would have had we had the money. She would have loved her grandchild so much. She would have suggested I name him Carver if it turned out to be boy, and I would have complied-for I wanted to honor my brother as much as she wanted to honor her son. If the child didn't turn out to be a boy, then she would have suggested me to keep trying until I had a one. And even if I managed to have a boy to name Carver, she would have kept suggesting me to have more children just so she could marvel in the joys of being a grandmother to a large family.

'_There's nothing more beautiful than the sound of little feet running around the house'_, she had told me once, a lovely smile insinuating on her lips.

"Why can't this just be a bad dream? No more than a horrible nightmare…" I murmured with uneasy breaths. "I shall wake up tomorrow with you lying next to me; you'll brush a lock of hair from my face, you'll smile at me as you always do in the mornings and you'll say _'It was just a bad dream'_. Then we'll kiss and we will go downstairs and mother will be there waiting for us to have breakfast together."

My body trembled again and I sobbed. Anders rubbed my back and did nothing to stop the tears. I needed to cry; if I didn't, there would be no way I'd manage to think straight again. As my body pressed harder against his, Anders gently lay us down on the mattress. I barely shifted from his embrace once his back was against the bed and my body on top of him, desperately holding on to the fabric covering his chest. He never ceased to caress my back and my hair, silently comforting me with his touch until my sobs subsided and I fell asleep.

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A/N: All my love to gentle readers and particularly to those who review. And thanks to my beta Amanda for her amazing work. :)


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